When us men put ourselves out there and date women, understanding our own self-worth and how it influences our actions can often lead to profound lessons, sometimes learned in the most unexpected of circumstances. This is one of my most embarrassing dating stories. I share it because it gave me profound, deep dating tips that I’ve used to date high quality women.
The Unforeseen Turn of Events
The journey began with a simple act of courage: I asked out a cashier who caught my eye while at the checkout line at Target. To my surprise, she said yes. This led to a series of coffee dates, each one progressively bringing us closer until I invited her to my apartment.
The plan was to go for a swim at my apartment pool, then to head to my place for a movie.
After the swim, we returned to my place. In a spontaneous turn, she asked me to dry her swimsuit in her dryer… I know what you’re thinking – she is so down, and I had the best sex of my life.
Here’s what I did – I offered her a towel, sat on a chair next to the couch while she sat on the couch… then we watched the movie.
The entire movie.
And I bid her goodbye. She withdrew, and stopped replying.
Misinterpretation and Missed Connections
Initially, I believed her withdrawal was because she didn’t like me as much as I thought she did. However, the reality was quite the opposite. She liked me a lot. She thought I was hot, kind (in the right ways – not overly nice), and confident. She made herself extremely vulnerable, being as forward as a feminine woman would be – undressing herself while she was alone with me.
And I rejected her. She had felt a deep sense of rejection, interpreting my lack of making a move as disinterest. This miscommunication highlighted a critical aspect of dating: the importance of reading her signals, both verbal and non-verbal, the vulnerability to make a move, and the self-worth to believe that this hottie might actually like you.
A Lesson in Self-Worth and Vulnerability
The most poignant takeaway from this experience was the realization of my own self-perceived worthlessness. At the time, I believed I was worthy of a date but not of a hot girl wanting to jump my bones. This perception unknowingly dictated my actions, creating barriers where there could have been opportunities for intimate, hot, steamy sex.
Integrating the Lesson into Dating Tips
For those navigating the dating world, this story offers several key insights:
- Courage to Initiate: Taking the first step to ask someone out is VITAL. If you don’t do this you might as well kiss your dating goals goodbye right now.
- Understanding Non-Verbal Cues: Being attuned to non-verbal signals is crucial in navigating the dynamics of dating. Know how she’s feeling and you can calibrate your actions to guide her into your arms and into your bed, in a way that excites her as well as you.
- Self-Worth and Dating: Recognizing and believing in your own worthiness for love, sex, and intimacy at every level is vital. Most men reject themselves constantly – deciding that her being “busy” is really her rejecting him lightly, but back in reality she’s literally busy, and the guy rejected himself because he felt deep down he has nothing to offer. For most guys, it’s all in our heads, and if we change our self-worth, we instantly find a lot more girls think we’re worthy but we didn’t allow ourselves to believe it.
- Vulnerability as Strength: Embracing vulnerability by making the moves and risking rejection turbocharges our dating lives as men.
Let my mistake be your savior. It gave me a deep, emotional lesson in dating, profound dating tips that are tattooed in the center of my brain, prompting me to never reject myself ever again. I hope it has the same effect on you.