Note: I had Andrius Saulis write an article for Dating Unchained – he’s an accomplished men’s dating coach with a healthy mindset on how to date attractive girls without drama or frustration. Dating should be fun, not work, and I love Andrius’ philosophies on dating. You won’t go wrong following his advice. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the read. You might just learn how to attract higher quality girls with less effort! I put his website in a link at the bottom, but here’s the home page in case you want to know more about him: https://www.saulisdating.com
There’s a problem in dating I hear guys complain about constantly. It’s when you’re pursuing a woman but she doesn’t seem to be very interested in you, even though she’s often still being flirty and not actually rejecting you outright. But you still persist and don’t know when to stop.
She might say she wants to meet you, but says no when you ask her out multiple times over the next few weeks. Giving you excuses like she’s just so busy with work, school, family and so on.
She might say she’s not really ready for a relationship right now. And will let you know later when she’s ready because she still likes you.
Basically, she’s sending you mixed signals while you’re trying your damnedest to get with her. But it doesn’t really lead anywhere and instead causes a ton of frustration, doubt and even anger.
So why do so many guys get hung up on a particular girl? And how do you get over this issue and stop trying to “win over” girls who aren’t really interested in you?
Why You Shouldn’t Get Hung Up On One Girl
There’s some great advice in dating which basically goes like this:
When it comes to the opposite sex, it’s either a “Fuck Yes!” or a “Hell No!” There’s no inbetween.
They’re either into you or they can go and play games with other people.
And let me tell you something, if they’re into you, they will ALWAYS find the time to go on a date with you. Unless they’re very sick, far away or something similar.
In fact, it’s all about priorities. And when people are into you, you’re suddenly pretty high on their priorities list.
So listen up, because I’ll show you how and why you need to stop chasing women who aren’t very into you. And instead screen for the ones who are. So you can skyrocket your chances of success on dates significantly.
• Stop chasing women who are not into you
First things first, the reason why you shouldn’t get hung up on one particular woman and stop chasing her is pretty obvious: You disrespect both yourself and her by doing so.
I mean, she’s already said no to your advances, probably multiple times. Which means she’s not that attracted to you.
She may like you as a person, but that doesn’t mean there’s any raw sexual attraction between you.
Sure, you can sometimes change that and build this attraction. But she’s made it obvious you’re either not her type or you aren’t compatible with one another. Or she simply doesn’t like you enough to want a relationship with you.
Worse than all that, she may even just want to keep you around as a Plan B. Someone who’s always her 2nd choice when she’s lonely and things don’t work out with who she’s really interested in. Or even someone who she can go on dinner and movie dates with who will keep her company when she’s bored and pay for everything.
So when you disregard this and keep pursuing her, you’re only making things worse. You’re basically digging a deeper hole for yourself, which eventually becomes impossible to get out of.
That’s because women lose respect for guys who are desperate to get them. And desperation is one of the most unattractive qualities a man can possess. Especially when they’ve said no multiple times and actually meant it.
And if a woman has no respect for you, she’ll never find you attractive. No matter how hard you try or what you do.
And even if by some one-in-a-million miracle you do somehow manage to get with her. Maybe because of some alcohol or a lapse in judgment on her part. The dynamic of the relationship will be all wrong.
That’s because you’ll be much more into her than she’s into you. You’ll always be her second choice. Not who she actually wants to be with. And that’s not great for a happy and strong relationship.
So listen: You’re not living in medieval or prehistoric times anymore where women are scarce. It’s not do or die, there’s plenty of other women. Who are much more compatible with you and just waiting for you to approach them.
Because why would you even want to make things difficult for yourself and go on a date with a woman who’s lukewarm towards you? Where you’ll have an “uphill battle” trying to win her over. When you can go on a date with someone who actually likes you and is into you. So it’s smooth sailing all the way and you’re both into each other right from the start.
How To Screen Women Both Online and Offline
When I’m meeting women through dating apps or websites, I screen for the ones who are into me before I even suggest a date.
That’s because if they’re into me before we even meet, the date is going to be a breeze. And it’s much more likely we’re going to have tons of fun and end up between the sheets by the end of the day.
So the first and best sign when a woman online is into you is how eagerly she replies. As well as how wordy her replies are.
Basically, if she’s answering your messages with one or two words and never asks you any questions. It means she’s not very interested in continuing the conversation.
It means either she’s bored or you’re boring her. And boredom, next to indifference, is the worst emotion to have women feel when you’re talking to them. It’s even worse than hate or anger!
In that case, you need to spice things up and go all in to try change the circumstances, or “next her.”
So if she takes days to reply, her replies are short, she doesn’t say much and never asks you any questions, “next her!” You’ll respect yourself more in the long run.
But if she replies eagerly and you often have lots of back-and-forth messages going on the same day, then that’s a great sign.
Also, if she talks about herself a lot and asks many questions about you as well. It means she’s actually interested in you as a person and wants you to know more about her. Which is a great sign!
And if she messages you first without you even prompting her, that’s the best sign yet. So keep talking to her, get some banter going and make some lighthearted flirty jokes.
When you see all these positive signs and if the banter is going well and she’s into your jokes, then the next step is to get her number.
When you get her digits, ask her out and set up a date. And I promise, your date will go so much smoother than if you just get digits and decide to meet some girl who you didn’t really vibe with yet.
How to screen women when meeting face-to-face
Screening women face-to-face in the real world is even easier.
Because you actually see the other person and can notice their facial expressions. And you can also hear them so you can assess their tone of voice, tonality and pitch. So it’s simpler to judge if they’re into you or not.
Plus, you’re actually able to touch them. Which is a huge advantage over online dating and a game-changer. Since touch is one of the most important things in seduction and attraction. Along with eye contact.
And you should be screening women you meet on the street, at parties, events, cafes and everywhere else constantly. Because if you do, you’ll know which ones you’re going to have a fun date with. And which ones are best to avoid because you’re just going to end up wasting everyone’s time.
So here’s how you do it:
• You approach, chat them up and look for various signs of interest.
Some of the signs are the same as with online dating. Like how eager they are to talk to you, how much they say when they reply. And if they’re talking about themselves as well as asking you questions about you and your life.
But other signs are much more subtle. Yet even more powerful.
Watch her body language and facial expressions
To see these signs, you have to take note of her body language. As well as her facial expressions and voice.
If her body language is closed off, cold, inexpressive, arms crossed. And if she never smiles at you, furrows her brow, looks bored or avoids your eyes. It means she’s not into you.
Same with her voice, if it’s monotone, dull, inexpressive and low pitch, she’s not into you.
But the opposite is great. Like when her body language is warm and expressive, her face lights up and she smiles while talking to you. And her voice pitches up and becomes more sensual, that’s all great.
However, the best way to screen women is to touch them. And then watch their reaction.
You can, for example, put your hand on their shoulder when you’re talking to them and making some point. You can nudge them lightly with your hand if you’re making some lighthearted joke. Or you can even take their hand and hold it in yours. Whatever you can think of works, as long as it’s appropriate.
After you touch them, you watch how they react.
If the reaction is negative, if they back away from you, frown, stop you from touching them, or anything similar. It means you should back off.
But if the reaction is positive or at least neutral, then you’re on the right track.
If it’s neutral, you just keep talking and flirting and bantering and touch them again. Eventually they’ll warm up to you. Or you’ll go talk to someone else who’s more into you.
And if the reaction is positive, like when she gets closer to you, doesn’t mind your hand on their shoulder or around them or in yours at all. Then that’s the best sign there is. Keep talking and flirting and having fun, then get her digits. And you’ll soon have a great date on your hands.
And once you’re able to get a lot of numbers and dates that way, it’s important you also understand how to have a successful first date. So you can have a great time with women and eventually start as many serious or casual sexual relationships as you want.
Because if you don’t really know what to do on your dates, you’ll once again only end up wasting everyone’s time. And blowing your chances off with some great women.